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Sunday, October 6, 2013

Expectant


Flowers to celebrate a life created.

 Isaiah 43:1 "But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine."

 We found out this week that we lost our baby at 7 weeks 1 day of pregnancy. I was 9 weeks 3 days when we found out I was miscarrying. It is a great sorrow and a huge disappointment. Our children knew we were expecting, and we had to tell them as well that their sibling had died. Corwin got very upset and yelled, "No! Baby kicking! Baby kicking in your belly!". Rhianwen bawled, and Alden slowly let the news sink in with slow sad tears. I had gotten most of my crying out the night before we knew for sure...a sleepless night full of prayer and a small glimmer of hope. It was sweet though, to grieve as a family together, to be able to pray together, and to hope together. Wally told them that Jesus took the baby home, and that is something they all have clung to, we all have, in our own way. Rhianwen has started daydreaming about what the baby will look like. She doesn't think he/she will be as small as what they were in my "belly", but that they will "at least be a toddler running around or maybe a little child". Corwin has prayed, "Jesus, baby died now, Jesus take baby out mommy's belly now, mommy not died now, I can died now." I find it simultaneously frustrating and sweet that the Lord knows our baby's name when we don't even know. He has called them by name, and they are His. As a covenant family we hope and expect that we will meet the baby one day when we are called home by Jesus as well. So we wait expectantly, not in the way we had hoped, but with trust that His plan will bring about good from our suffering, grief, pain and loss. He will restore all things. The world will not always be as it is. And we can live in joy and hope. Thank you to all who have walked with us, prayed with us, and shown us the love of Christ through this difficult week. It soothes our hearts to have your love.

Flowers to remember a life lost but not for forever.

7 comments:

  1. Oh Eowyn. I know the pain all too well and it does hurt. Praying for you as you grieve as parents while caring for your children who are grieving their sibling. Praying you will feel well loved by your Savior who knows our pain and suffering. We love you!

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  2. So sorry to hear this.

    We've been there and know the grief. The flowers helped remind us of the greater hope we have.

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  3. Holding you all 5 close in prayer and cyber-hugs! Yes, the hope we have in Jesus is beyond comprehension! We never shielded our boys. I think that's best as they learn how to deal with the griefs in the safety of the covenant family! Beautiful post!

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  4. So sorry. You and your family are so precious. I will be praying for you all. Praying for comfort, peace and joy.

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  5. Oh Eowyn, I'm so very very sorry. What a terrible, hard thing! Praying for healing and joy in the midst of your suffering.

    Love the post of Rhi's birthday and all the love and celebration you gave her despite your pain. What a lovely, amazing girl she is!

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  6. Oh, Eowyn, I'm so sorry to read about your loss. Surely, your family will be strengthened by this shared experience. How precious that you have walked through this shadow together, teaching the children and yourselves to trust the covenant promises of our loving God. We will pray for you.

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  7. So beautifully expressed. Continuing to lift you and your sweet family up in prayer. Love you!

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